Grunt Work
by Jabbersense
Summary: Mutsu can never catch a break with this man, can't she? [Chapter 568 spoilers about Sakamoto. Yeah, you know the one...]


**A/N:** This was supposed to be a quick prompt on tumblr about the height difference between Sakamoto and Mutsu, but of course it got out of hand. It was such a sweet prompt, and I'm such a sucker for small/tall couples.

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A bittersweet, rich aroma wafted through the mess hall of the ship. Mutsu exhaled the savory breath with a hum and licked her lips. Earthlings were strange, strange creatures, but this coffee…it was probably the best thing they've discovered for the universe.

The coffee maker percolated and hiccuped as it finished making its pot, and Mutsu poured the drink into her favorite pastel pink mug with a hand-painted cream colored bunny. There were no extra condiments—no milk, no sugar—on the counter next to her. She liked her coffee like she liked her humor: black.

It was the 15th of the month, which meant it was bookkeeping day. The last of the bills had been sent out, and everything needed to be balanced before midnight so a new budget for this month's cycle could be drafted tomorrow.

As she sipped her hot coffee gingerly, Mustu rounded the corner into the ship's large study, but something was amiss at the bookcase where the records were shelved. All the folders and notebooks and instruments she needed were piled haphazardly and precariously atop the bookcase— far out of her reach. Her head snapped to a specific corner of the room and found that the secret stepladder she had tucked away just in case was conspicuously missing.

A feral growl burbled at the back of her throat, and the hand holding her mug was shaking violently, nails rapping on the ceramic.

" ** _SAAAKAAAMOOOTOOO_**!"

"Ahahahaha! Oh, shit! I've been found out! Ahahaha!" The captain of the Kaientai strolled through the door frame with his hands in his pockets and flashed a thousand-watt smile, "C'mon, ya need ta take a break once in awhile. Ya've been wound up so tight lately that I half think yer gonna asplode into the sky like a firework. The only thing due on the fifteenth are checks, n' those have all been sent out. Let's drink some sake? It's a nice really bottle!"

The only thing Mutsu wanted was to take the chance to break her boss' nose (and his stupid sunglasses) with a solid punch.

"This is my routine. Ya do not disrespect my routine. Without my routine the Kaientai would've been tits-up long ago. And most of all, ya do not disrespect my height."

Sakamoto stopped in front of his his second-in-command and stretched a gangly arm up to hold the top of the bookshelf. He leaned casually against it, tilting his sunglasses down with his other hand to wink a stunningly blue eye. Seeing him rub in how easily he could reach the top of the bookshelf almost sent Mutsu flying into a yato fury of rage—only he could get under her skin like this—but Sakamoto must've preemptively sensed how angry she actually was. He immediately crouched down and grabbed both her shoulders, rubbing them gently to calm her down.

"Hey! Okay, so it was kinda a dick move of me, ahahaha," his laugh was twitchy and nervous, but also hopeful. "Share a bottle with me, n' I swear I'll take care 'o it tomorrow. Seriously, ya put too much on these small shoulders of yers. Things go wrong if ya try n' do too much."

Mutsu knew exactly what he was talking about. She stole a glance at Sakamoto's right hand and at that thick, raised scar running down his palm and wrist. _There_ was the reason Mutsu took it upon herself to do all the bills and bookkeeping and budgeting— right there, _literally_ on her shoulder. It wasn't that she didn't trust Sakamoto. In fact, she knew he was almost as good at numbers as she was. No, it had to do with all that writing and fine movement. It was like being a student again, and it was incredibly stressful on the hand. Though she'd never tell him, if only Sakamoto knew that she handled the bookkeeping so that there would be one less detail in his life to remind him about his wrist…

"A'ight," huffed Mutsu defeatedly.

Sakamoto's face quickly lit up with joy but pulled into a grimace even faster as Mutsu kicked him squarely in the balls. Gripping between his legs, he slumped to the floor with a long whimper, and she stepped unceremoniously onto him, draining her now lukewarm coffee. Mutsu popped onto her tippy-toes like a ballerina going _en pointe_ and cleared the mess on top of the shelf with one grand sweep of her arm, knocking off everything she needed to do her bookkeeping with onto the floor and onto Sakamoto's head.

"I'll share a bottle with ya as soon as I finish this here work."


End file.
